In this excerpt from the book he is currently writing, Dr Olumoroti provides some answers to the mindsets that make men abuse women who they once or still profess they love. Some of this came from personal observation and findings of studies of men who had been convicted of domestic violence against their wife, girlfriends, or partners. Some of these insights are quite disturbing; the first one might shock you.
Mindset 1 – Abusive men don’t see abused women as victims.
Mindset 2 – Abusive men don’t think of their aggression and violence as abuse.
Mindset 3 – Abusive men want to be in control all the time.
Mindset 4 – Abusive men often suffer from low self esteem
Mindset 5 – Abusive men feel a sense of entitlement to most things.
Mindset 6 – Abusive men have a sense of superiority or supremacy.
Mindset 7 – Abusive men treat women as objects. (And even society doesn’t help)
Mindset 8 – Abusive men want to inflict pain, sometimes very seriously.
Mindset 9 – Abusive men minimise, deny or externalise their problems.
Mindset 10 – Abusive men think women are their personal properties.
Mindset 11 – Abusive men selfishly think of themselves and their needs only.
Mindset 12 – Abusive men are usually narcissistic with strong sense of infallibility.
Mindset 13 – Abusive men are manipulative and deceitful in their nature.
Mindset 14 – Abusive men sometimes think they are above the law.
Mindset 15 – Some abusive men are mindless, wicked and horrible.
Mindset 16 – Abusive men will repeat abuse again and again unless they get help.
Dr Muyiwa Olumoroti currently works as a psychiatrist in south London. He combines over 25 years’ experience as a medical practitioner with a background in general and forensic mental health, cognitive neuroscience, coaching, mentoring and management. Muyiwa has been involved in undergraduate and postgraduate medical education for several years including more recently in the training of consultant psychiatrists. He also teaches and writes on leadership, empowerment and emotional intelligence. Dr Olumoroti is a freelance author who has also published articles and research papers in national and international scientific journals.
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